Unprepared is a podcast where two friends, Jesse and Kevin, sit down with no preparation and have a conversation.
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Sep 8, 2017

In case you didn't see it on twitter (follow us... if you dare! @unprepped) we're temporarily slowing down production of episodes. For reasons. Maybe we'll talk about it on a future episode. But not this one.


This week we talk about stealing chairs, bad episodes of tv, a poop joke, hurricane activities, wild weather, time travel movies, the all new Whole Foods, Mastodon, a meme, reading every tweet, content aggregators, long reads, using graphs to say what you want, 


(Recorded on August 28, 2017.)


Star Trek's Code of Honor is possibly the worst episode of the entire show.

Lubbock, TX gets really bad dust storms called haboobs.

Netflix has a new time-loop movie that Kevin didn't like.

But there's an indie one that he does like.

@alexandraerin is a fantastic Twitter writer.

The Future of Football is a story that can't be explained, but must be read.

Kevin recommends these lectures about detecting bullshit.

Jesse met Tim Cook.

Aug 25, 2017

Did you know that every year you eat 3 spiders in your sleep? But did you know that fact is most likely made up? But did you know that lots of facts are made up? But did you know that Kevin makes up 86% of the things he says at any given point in time? But did you know that any time he makes up a statistic he set 86%? But did you know that the average velocity of an unladen swallow is in direct proportion to it's wingspan? But did you know Shakespeare invented the word eyeball? But did you know that this bit was stolen from Movies with Mikey? But did you know that we'll never get in trouble for stealing it because we will never reach even a fraction of a percent of the audience of that admittedly minor youtube show? But did you know that worrying about obscurity on the internet is one of the worst things to worry about? But did you know that if you scream into a jar and close it fast enough you can release the scream in the face of your enemies? But did you know having too many enemies can dramatically increase your blood pressure?  But did you know petting a cat can lower your blood pressure? Where was I going with this?


(Recorded on August 14, 2017.)


Kevin (still) recommends Master of None. (Jesse still hasn't seen it.)

Co-creator of Master of None, Alan Yang, also directed Moonlight for JAY-Z.

Kevin enjoyed Ali Wong's standup special Baby Cobra.

Kevin did not enjoy Jiro Dreams of Sushi.

The creator of Jiro Dreams of Sushi, David Gelb, also made the similarly problemed Chef's Table.

Go read some creepypastas at r/nosleep, specifically this one.

Chris Straub's Scared Yet is a series of creepypasta reviews.

Don't think about the peepee poopoo man.

Sarah Jeong wrote the ultimate piece on the Google Memo.

XKCD explains free speech.

Mikey Neumann's latest is about Pan's Labyrinth.

Every Frame a Painting's video on the Coen Brother's is incredible.

YourMovieSucksDOTorg is Synecdoche, New Yorking-ing their video series on Synecdoche, New York.

Aug 18, 2017

You should know something before listening to this episodes. You should know that you need to watch the first episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Not because it will help you understand what we talk about. (but it will) but because it's the best tv show on tv right now. I mean it's not on TV right now when I'm typing this, but it is currently being produced. And it's a freaking masterpiece. I'm saying it's up there with The Wire, and the first 3 seasons of Arrsted Development. Watch it. Now. (The previous statements are not endorsed by Jesse. But only because he hasn't finished watching the show yet. Which he should get on.)


This week Jesse and Kevin talk about sitting on a couch, petting a cat, people named Tundra, heightened reality, Ray Bradbury, That 80s band that's referenced in American Psycho, nuance, fermentables, bugs in all the flour, how to cook oatmeal, how to beat Bobby Flay, tiny Texas towns, diner food, scary trucks in the dark, short orders and the cooks who fulfill them, the job of a sponge, "wine" "country," the best thing about Texas (according to Jesse,) sideways sandwiches, fake chicken.


(Recorded on August 14, 2017.)


Jesse and Kevin watched the pilot of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend together.

Jesse camped and watched the Perseid meteor shower.


Aug 11, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about sleepy wine, dogs eating things, fart sounds, multi-cam sitcoms, Star Trek, assisted suicide, being trapped in a room, monkey hands, squeeky toys, negative reviews of Game of Thrones, screaming pizza, fast travel in Westeros, swarms, solo storytelling performance, making up stories.


(Recorded on August 1, 2017.)


Jesse watched The Carmichael Show.

Travis Kalanick thinks he's Steve Jobs.

Kevin and Jesse both enjoyed Hasan Minjah's Homecoming King.

Kevin's introduction to comedy was Jeff Foxworthy.


Aug 4, 2017

This episode has a dog in it.


(Recorded on August 1, 2017.)


Go get fried chicken or chicken fried steak at Babe's.

Juan Likes Rice and Chicken is a Documentary Now episode parodying Jiro Dreams of Sushi.

Ask Mr. Biggs is Kevin's favorite podcast.

Kevin brought his sister's bachelorette party to an escape room.

Gone Home is a fantastic video game.


Jul 21, 2017


(Recorded on July 10, 2017.)


Kevin participated in this year's Meh-rathon.

MC Frontalot has a song about 80085.

Jesse sometimes feels a thing that's a combination of sonder and the fog of war.

Jesse didn't like Baby Driver.

Kevin wants Jesse to watch Ratatoing, some kind of nightmare parody of Ratatouille.

We talk a lot about the Transformers media franchise.

Lindsay Ellis has smart things to say about the Transformers movies on her YouTube channel.

Every Frame a Painting has a great video essay on "Bayhem".

Kevin was disappointed with the rebooted Ninja Turtles movies.

Some shots from The Island are copied in Transformers.


Jul 14, 2017


(Recorded on July 10, 2017.)


Jesse explains what he doesn't like so far about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Kevin reads some funny tweets about Dudley dying.

Kevin plays Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor, a fun video game about Tolkien stuff.

Jesse finally finished watching 30 Rock for the third time and is going to start watching The Carmichael Show on Kevin's recommendation.

Jesse's wrong; The Office is not leaving Netflix.

HBO is working on Game of Thrones spin-offs.

The Hunt For Gollum and Born of Hope are two fan made films about Aragorn.

The new Spider-Man movie inspired this great video from moviebob.

The First Baptist Dallas church worshiped Donald Trump on the Fourth of July.

Kevin made Alton Brown's best hamburger ever to celebrate America.

Jesse explains the 2017 Tour de France. Or you could read the A.V. Club explain it.


Jul 7, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about safes, documents, computers, Half-Life 3 confirmed, reinventing the bus, terrible startups, GOOP, Qwikster, grocery stores, where we buy clothes, underwear wearing out, stinky shorts.


(Recorded on June 19, 2017.)


Valve's The Orange Box has some good games.

Valve and Zappos both have a flat corporate structure.

Lyft invents a city bus for rich people.

An Uber board member resigned after sexist comments.

Planet of the Apps had a very gross ad on Twitter.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop brand is stupid.

Amazon bought Whole Foods.

Jun 30, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about beach houses, granite countertops, floating, old superheroes, our sponsors, couch talk, brunch, tacos vs breakfast tacos, post brunch naps, racist mascots on mustard, talking to strangers, Irish names, The Gospel According to Jesse, languages that aren't English, languages that are English, sounds in your mouth, bad accents, the Gettysburg Address. 


(Recorded on June 19, 2017.)


The Fall by Gorillaz was recorded entirely on an iPad.

Cast is a website that can record, edit, and host podcasts for you.

Sarah Michelle Gellar tweeted a funny thing about Wonder Woman.

Jesse recommends the pabellon arepa at the Four Brothers food truck.

Kevin recommends Biderman's Deli.

There's actually a lot of Romance languages.


Jun 23, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about important books, holidays in June, Buck Mulligan, new holidays, moon shoes, MILF Island, the assassination of JFK, a potato stool sculpture, pants that get hot in the summer, empty cities, two Six Flagses, butter sculpture, day trippin', kolaches, confederate monuments, communicating through Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs, shaving Jesse's legs, losing library books, losing cats, tearing tyvek, the volume of a sphere, keychain cards, the beach.

(Recorded on June 19, 2017.)


Ulysses is arguably the most important, or best, novel in the English language.

Jesse learns about Juneteenth.

Rhode Island state holiday, Victory Day, celebrates killing millions of Japanese people.

Jesse and Kevin invent Moon Day to celebrate the Apollo 11 moon landing.

Jesse gets very upset about Dallas, TX.

Big Tex is a large robot demon cowboy.

Pegasus is not a phoenix.

Kevin has lots of fun with a new app.

Kevin describes a recent textmergency.

Kevin got a new wallet made out of Tyvek.


Jun 16, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about pictures of Kevin's face, the length of Jesse's hair, mullets, braids, middle school hair, haul videos, beards, shaving, grey hairs, commentary on commentary, walking in the rain, weird register jockey stories, real margaritas, graduation, bighead, and orb.



(Recorded on May 22, 2017.)


Kevin recorded a commentary for Jesse's other show, Project Unicorn.

Jesse used to get badly sunburned while volunteering for Soulfest.

Academic dress is complicated and fun.

Sheriff David Clark is wearing a bunch of garbage on his chest.


Orb 0
Jun 9, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about Orb.


You can follow us on Twitter @unprepped. We don't have a facebook. 

(Recorded on May 22, 2017.)


Groups of people are very bad at remembering things properly.

Jesse got into playing Cookie Clicker and Adventure Capitalist.


We discuss the weirdness of David Lynch.

Kevin still watches Survivor.

There are lots of words for the centigrade scale.


Jun 3, 2017

Kevin is on vacation right now, so he hasn't had time to listen to this episode. That means Jesse could have put literally anything in the file for this episode. Let's hope he didn't. 

 (Recorded on May 15, 2017.)


John Hodgman wrote some great books on Complete World Knowledge.

He also has a stand-up special that Jesse liked, but Kevin didn't.

Sandwiches are famously difficult to define.

Porn is also hard to define, like these videos of people smushing bread.

Jesse enjoyed some pie, Kevin enjoyed some blintzes, and someone on the internet got mad about grilled cheese.

Jesse has had very bad experiences with productions of The Vagina Monologues and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Kevin and Jesse share some experiences with daddy longlegs.

Let John Oliver teach you about the injustice of food waste.

Watch Movies with Mikey's new video on The Emperor's New Groove.


May 26, 2017

This week Kevin rambles incoherently over Jesse's other podcast. He's still not sure why this exists.


(Recorded on May 15, 2017.)

Kevin provides his commentary on Project Unicorn episode 5: Human Soulmate.


May 19, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about burritos, great values in fast food, things that aren't pranks, things that are pranks, sitting in water, pointy bras, the OJ Simpson hidden camera show, farting on faces, how to pronounce Cedric, reverse mysteries, dueling Sherlocks, parenting advice, reading books above your age level, adaptations of Narnia, book reports, eggs Benedict Arnold, hypnotic zit powers, homestarrunner dot net (it's dot com), flash animation, things with really long names.


(Recorded on May 15, 2017.)


Cracked has a great video about why YouTube prank videos are bad.

Don't abuse your children on YouTube or they'll get taken from you.

Madonna had a slack-liner on her Super Bowl 46 half time show.

Strike a Pose is a documentary about Madonna's backup dancers.

The live performance of Madonna's Express Yourself is still incredible to this day.

Sufjan Stevens released a Carrie & Lowell concert film.

College Humor had an internet famous prank war.

Jesse has some thoughts about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

Columbo uses the lack of mystery to great effect.

Sherlock uses excess mystery to mediocre effect.

Kevin lives in fear of Spider Robinson eventually dying.

Jesse and Kevin would read The Chronicles of Narnia to their children.

Arrested Development is coming back for season five.

Kevin loves Invader Zim.

YouTube is filled with things that look bad/old but are still funny.

Learn all about broats.


May 12, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about not knowing the original song that a parody is parodying, a music video that made Kevin cry, music first people vs lyrics first people, mixtapes and albums, hip hop on kids tv, fire scares, drinking in dorm rooms, fake pulp novel covers, pilgrims, weird meat, eating bugs, different ways to watch tv, late fees at the library, podcast sponsorships, DRM free audiobooks, toasters, our one year anniversary. 


(Recorded on May 2, 2017.)


Jesse did a bad job with time management this week and didn't give himself lots of time to edit and release this episode, so . . . you can find the links yourself.

May 5, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin Talk about farts.


(Recorded on May 2, 2017.)


Kevin and Jesse drink, and complain, about Austin Eastcider's blood orange cider. Too sweet.

Lots of fart talk in the opening of the show.

Kevin got a new Twitter avatar from Gordon McAlpin.

Jesse made, and promptly abandoned a Mastodon account.

Kevin has been learning Python the hard way. Git codin'!

Twine is a tool Kevin used to make a short game.

Kevin enjoyed the splendor of America's health care system because of his partner's herniated disc.

Be like Jesse and cry while reading this article about bullet wounds.

House Hunters is fake.

But Tiny House is very real.

Continental is a documentary about the Continental, a gay bath house in New York.

The worst bike crash Jesse has ever seen was at Red Hook Crit Brooklyn 2016.

Apr 27, 2017

Does anybody read these?


This week Jesse and Kevin talk about magicians, movies, podcasts, animation, movies about other movies, movie posters, video art, centering your shots, real fake shots, going to space, new social networks, toots, open source software.


(Recorded on April 17, 2017.)


Apollo Robbins is a famous pick-pocket, but Kevin doesn't think he's very good.

Neuro-linguistic programming is a pseudo-science used by the seduction community.

Poe's Law explains why some people can't tell The Onion is satire.

Kevin explains the plot of Death Proof.

John Wick: Chapter 2 is no John Wick.

People sure did get excited about the S-Town podcast.

The Thief and the Cobbler has had a famously long production history.

Room 237 is a documentary about The Shining's conspiracy theories.

This poster for 2001: A Space Odyssey does a bad job selling the movie.

Mark Lewis's Galveston exhibit at the Austin Contemporary made Jesse very frustrated.

Our buddy Neil runs Film School Rejects and now One Perfect Shot.

The long take from Panic Room is a little too perfect.

Kendrick Lamar's video for Humble is filled with amazing techniques.

Birdman was not the first film to be presented as one long take.

Chris Pratt basically plays a red-piller in Passengers.

Mastodon (no not that kind) is a cool new social network protocol that is (mostly) free of Nazis.

Check out Sarah Jeong's Motherboard article about it. was a failed Twitter replacement.

According to a study, people rate women's coding higher when they don't know that they're women.

Apr 21, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about which side to butter your bread, activities for over active children, fads of the 90s, chewing on walls, the Alien quadrilogy, really dense fog, not good board games, flying, Lexus, the true meaning of Easter, farmer's markets, banana clones, wine seeds,  a lot of ham, doing nothing, new offices, tiny holes in Jesse's throat, xenomorphs, things sticking to other things, reacting to magic tricks, clear plastics cups.


(Recorded on April 17, 2017.)


Dr Seuss's The Butter Battle Book sparks quite the controversy.

Watch Mind of a Chef explore a French butter factory.

Jesse's fads include:

Prometheus was bad and Alien: Covenant probably will be too.

There's a board game about the Alien franchise.

Jesse played Joking Hazard, a bad game.

Jesse got to watch people play an HTC Vive, which was weird.

Double Fine is making a neat VR charades game.

Bananas have a complicated history.

Jesse got strep throat. Or maybe mono. Apparently it's hard to tell the difference.

There's a musical about people touching a car for a long time called Hands on a Hardbody.

David Blaine is bad at magic.

Magicians try to stump Penn and Teller in Penn & Teller: Fool Us.

Apr 14, 2017

We missed last week. Did you miss us? Blame the frailty of the human body, as Jesse came down with strep throat. And while listening to a man fail to talk for a few hours would be fun for some, we don't think it would be up to the admittedly low bar we already have set.


This week Jesse and Kevin talk about handwriting analysis, leaving a mess, drinking a whole moka pot, awkward introductions in movies, how to be bad at a thing you like, losing a bet and being forced to watch Twilight, oscar winner Suicide Squad, oscar nominee Norbit, the best character in the Marvel cinematic universe, sneaking pocket knives past the TSA, Jesse's stand up special, not Joan Rivers, drinking water before bed, things in bedside drawers, using up pens, and Governor Gary Johnson. 



Kevin has been working on writing about Charles Whitman.

Graphology is a pseudoscience.

Jesse is making a lot of coffee in his moka pot.

Kevin makes Jesse watch a scene from Birdemic: Shock and Terror.

What are chord progressions?

One of Steve Bannon's houses had a murder-tub filled with acid.

Mar 30, 2017

You know what ages really well? April Fools jokes. So we did one. There's no new episode on Friday. But there is on Saturday! April Fools! I guess. 


This week Jesse and Kevin talk about weird ways to open cans, compostable knives, drumming too hard, dudes afraid of singing songs written for women, tiny trains, people who love tiny trains, eating bugs, Future Train, mummy myths, fun Bill Murray Facts, made up movies and their crossovers, recasting movies with muppets, rifftrax, being threatened in public, slaps, drinking the blood of younger people, complicated tables, eating cereal, #brands.



How Far I'll Go is Moana's "I want" song.

There's a lot of different scales for model trains.

Apparently they're eating a lot of bugs in Snowpiercer. (There's a lot of bugs in the world.)

Mummies were not actually burned as fuel.

Supertrain is coming. Have a small bag packed.

The Muppets would improve literally any movie.

The Incomparable did a great episode about The Good Place.

RiffTrax is doing a live show about The Five Doctors.

Dave Chappelle's new Netflix specials are very transphobic.

Two good specials that you should watch are Mike Birbiglia's Thank God for Jokes and Ali Wong's Baby Cobra.

Flamme Rouge is a board game about bike racing.

Mar 24, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about writing, guns, and fast food.


I never remember to tell you that you can follow us on twitter @unprepped

We still don't have a facebook.



Reddit's /WritingPrompts.

writing-prompt-s dot tumblr dot com

Kevin explains how Shakespeare was originally published.

La Ronde is an interestingly structured French play.

Factorials make numbers get very big.

Kevin is interested in the University of Texas Tower Shooting as a playwriting topic.

'Campus Carry' took effect in Texas universities on the 50 year anniversary of the UT Tower shooting, protested delightfully by Cocks Not Glocks.

Chris Rock advocates for bullet control.

Mar 17, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about witches in Riverdale, Ace representation, man-threading, overly-masculine spaces, the netflix-everything else exchange rate, troubleshooting tiny computers, getting naked for ESD safety, googling the answer, terminal commands, destroying your personal life through cooking, bbq, buying rich people things, cheap glassware, garage sale, first edition DVDs, CHS horror movies, funny cactuses, bad Adam Sandler movies, representation on TV, and badass presidents.



The CW has better shows than Jesse expected, including Riverdale.

Kevin and Jesse very much dislike the Nazi haircut and the fuckboy haircut.

Kevin has been tinkering with the Raspberry Pi.

Kevin is learning Python the hard way.

Kevin wants replicators and Jesse wants transporters.

Jesse particularly enjoyed the Chef's Table episode about Nancy Silverton.

Jesse's friend has a podcast about cassette music.

Jesse finished and loved The Good Place.

Alan Sepinwall has a great interview with Mike Schur about The Good Place.

Television shows that represent the under-represented:

Selected favorite sitcom moments:

Mar 10, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin and talk about *beer noise,* tasty beverages, walking near rivers, silly sombreros, relative distances in Texas, gigantic gas stations with great bathrooms, three wolf moon t-shirts, Star Trek preschools, suit shopping, big and tall nook part 2, phones getting bigger, more trains, party buses, a variety of strippers with a variety of genders, space monkeys, Beyoncé getting robbed in the grammys, vinyl people, "I want" songs, EGOTs, Earth 2, trees are hands, eating human flesh in video games, MMORPGS, drugs.



Jesse went to The Alamo, but missed the basement.

Amazon's AWS went down and the internet was broken for a while.

Susan J. Fowler's blog post kicked off a very bad couple of weeks for Uber.

Boston Dynamics has a new nightmare robot.

Kevin likes Janelle Monáe for her afrofuturism. (Watch this)

The music of Coheed and Cambria tells a complex concept story.

Ookla the Mok has a concept album about Gorilla City.

Kevin really likes the Moana soundtrack.

Kevin tries to explain the complicated family tree of The Flash.

Jesse's favorite cartoon, Samurai Jack, returned for season 5 after a ten year hiatus.

Kevin enjoys Touch the Skyrim.

We used to play a lot of Eve Online and RuneScape.

Mar 3, 2017

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about naps, waking up early, ice cream, the passage of time, reading games, chambers with secrets in them, vampires, getting back into bed, finding the time to write, reading all the books, 33 Minutes, watching the oscars through twitter, how to make coffee, macaroni soup, and the best way to cook pasta.



Chris Rock has a great bit on jobs versus careers.

Kevin is excited to play the new Torment RPG.

Paul Dean's article about Stardew Valley makes Kevin want to write more.

Notable Twitter accounts:

Kevin's biggest writing influences were David Ives, David Mamet, and Aaron Sorkin.

Kevin thinks Jesse would enjoy The Expanse and the Battlestar Galactica board game. But Jesse's not so sure.

Moka pots make great coffee.

Bannock bread is an easy quick bread.

The cold water pasta method is some bullshit. (Sorry Kevin and Alton).

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